"Gather 'round children, and I will tell you a story before bed. Quickly now, I'm quite tired myself you know!" said an old man as he eased himself into a rocking chair by the fire.
The children gathered around the fireplace and one boy asked, "Grandpa, can you tell us a story with knights and dragons and princesses?"
"Hmm, I may know just the thing. It goes back many many years, I will tell you the tale of the fang-toothed beast of Blackwing Descent! Do not confuse this with the story of Llama, despite the title, that's a different story." advised the old man.
"The story begins in a far away land long long ago, the land was called Zangarmarsh and the story is about a group of adventurers in a raiding guild called Anger. Anger was a guild full of the strongest and most skilled fighters and healers in the realm. They, along with various other guilds, wanted to kill the evil Dragon Nefarian. This dragon was guardian of very powerful artifacts, slaying him would make the guild's warriors even more powerful." He paused and glanced around the room, seeing the light in the children's eyes, and then continued.
The old man continued, "Anger had lost many members fighting Blackwing and his minions. Week after week, fresh recruits eager to test themselves replaced fallen comrades only to be eaten or burned alive themselves. The horrible shrill annoying screams of wooooooooooow beebu still echo in those dark halls. Frustration and anguish began to take hold within the ranks of Anger after the thousandth time Nefarian forced them to retreat before they could strike a killing blow. Men succumbed to madness and ran in terror rather than enter those halls again, Priests cast down their staff and robe and surrendered to alcohol, Rogues obsessively followed around women with no interest in them, Druids complained constantly about everything, it was truly a terrible time."
"Now, the leader of Anger, PaladinJesus and his officers Rokareot the Mountain and Influx the Portable Lover were fed up and decided to devote all of their time to destroying Nefarian and cast aside all other distractions. They knew that new ideas were needed and PaladinJesus, who's constant deaths and subsequent rebirths were being blamed for Nefarian's escapes, was willing to listen to all suggestions."
"Now Children, at this point in the story, two of the men charged with standing toe to toe with the dragon came forward and explained to the group that they had travelled far away to train under the supervision of Lexington Steele in a new fighting style."
"Grandpa, who's Lex Steele?" asked one of the childen.
The old man explained, "Well, he is a man of great skill and formidable physical prowess, all men strive to be his equal, but many of us (like poor Rokareot) will never match him. However, Itsabeebo and Xaphel had perfected the technique of "Big Dicking" a boss and felt that this would be the edge needed to finally kill Nefarian."
"Anger, armed with this new technique entered Blackwing Descent. And fought with Nefarian in an epic battle of steel, flame and blood. The battle lasted long into the night with Anger's men, women, sea monsters, and soul eating demons putting forth all their collective might to destroy Nefarian. Many warriors expelled all of their energy and stood powerless in front of the demon dragon as if no longer there, only to be return moments later as if nothing happened. Finally, after hours of struggling and even missing the great healer Symmetry of the Beach, they held on until Nefarian rose in red rage to destroy them all. It was then, that they could all feel the presence of Lex Steele with them as Itsabeebo used his "Big Dick" technique to parry Nefarian's strikes while the noble warriors of Anger struck the final death blow!" concluded the old man with a vicious thrust of his arm.
"I have a painting here of the event, because I was there. They called me Kite the Magnificent in those times. Now, off to bed with you or you'll miss the bus to school." finished Kite as the children ran to bed.
"One of the children stopped and turned to look his grandfather in the eye when he said, "Grandpa, remember that time way long ago that you told us the story of the dragon? That was awesome.". Then he turned and ran from the room.